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back from the dead [06 Aug 2004|10:37am] so i realize its been a couple of months sinc ei updated but there has been so much going on what with getting back from israel, missing my family from my trip, trying to visit the muss kids, taking many trips down memory lane over and over, reminicing, ending school with graduation, summer vacation, and getting ready to move into my dorm. I just went out and spent an absolutleyt wonderful weekend in seattle where i saw 7/49 from or trip or really i guess 7/48 not including me. I haven't been that happy in a while an dthe smile was permenetly painted acroos my face for a week. Just being wtih them and cracking small inside jokes onyly they would understand and not think that i was totally insane was amazing. On my plane ride out there, i was thikning, kind of writing that stream of consciecness thing - writing anything and everything that just flowed through my mind.... As i'm reading that book Yosi was telling toward sthe end of our trip and im nearly half way through. Along with reading such a powerful book I have been doing a lot of self evaluating and analyzing about all aspects of people and life. Shira Birkowitz said in a card to me, "if you were in my head - you wouldn't know where to begin," thats somewhat how i feel. Life/ Fate is a very weird thing - something caused that specific group of 49 kids to join together on such an incredible experience .. i can't stop over simplifying everything form things we had the opportunities to do to my feelings on various topics to even everyday convienences we take for granted (history, for one, is never given enough credit). I'm ready TO DO SOMETHING with my life and stop waiting around for things TO GET DONE. Why do things happen as they do? I have so many questions i know will never be answered. everyday I think of our trip and every day i think of the people and everyday i think of tehe amazing things we were able to do - I am the dictionary definition of 'obsessed' - and i finally figured out why people become obsessed with something/ anything - it's because what they are so infatuated with , whether it be a place, an organization, a program, a person, is what makes them feel so sincerely happy (and i never knew being "happy" could be so complicated). It's not the simple everyday happiness - it's the serene feeling of the ultimate utopia that is rarely truely and fully experienced. I never knew i could feel this way about something. My face GLOWS when i talk about anything from Israel or Muss and that says something in itslef - that someone who didnt even participate in something that was that big of an impact on you can completely see a shine and a "sparkle" in your eyes as your energy rise and you speak faster and everything becomes more exciting, it becomes so clear to even the most unobservent stranger. I can picture myself in 50 years still dreaming about the days and the people of our HSI quinn, undoubtably fortming tears in my eyes, even so long from now. I feel lost with-in a body that runs through routine after routine but doesn't take a moment to slow down and think, therefore my mind is similar to a disasterous tornado, spinning in circles uncontrolably, full of winding thoughs heading in every and any direction possible. As i write this, i am riding through clouds (litterally, and i suppose, figurativly) and i feel like being up here connects me with everything that i love. [It also makes me thing about the overly simple idea of the marshmellowy cotton ballish clouds and why they are able to float or how they initally form ....but that is all void of substance unless you were trying to prove my insanity..] I guess what it comes down to is i don't know how to express how much I miss something(s)/ how i dont know what i want/ and how to find answers to my questions. :-\ i move to college next sunday.... creeping up so fast 1 CMNT.

took a breather from the updating! [12 Mar 2004|11:25am] so this is a 2 week update just because i haven't gotta an chance to get to the computer too write an update. u SOOOO, two weeks ago, hmmm thining back. Last week monday was just a full day of regular classes... so it was nothing exciting nor very fun. Tuesday (or last week, remember) was our zionism seminar. We were spilt up into 5 groups and each assigned a leader of the zionusm movement. We had the night before to make a poster, a 10 minute skit, write a song, and then a informal infomational presentation. We all have spilt up the tasks and do our own parts but atthe same time bring it all together (similar to a play and a cast)... it was really funin the end but it was alot of work. After the zionism seminar, we headed to the JNF (jewish national fund) forest to prune trees and make it prettier. I got a lot of crap from my teacher because i didnt want to get dirty and pick up branches and get scraped... it just didnt seem fun... but from then on, everythingi did in the forest my teacher was like"look, way to go ashley...that branch was calling yoru name" it was fun, in the end. Wednesday we went to a mueseum on Ofar Giladi were the people of the first and second alyiah were honored. We studied looing out over the valley and through to the golan mountains... it was beautiful. After we left the hilltop muesum we went to Rachel's - who was a famous poet and huge part of the second alyiah - grave. We saneg one of her poems (which has been changed in to a song) and studied about what she did and the impact she had. After sitting by her grave for a while talking baout who she was, we went just outside the cemetary and had a "bonding circle" for our class. We were all told to say one positive attribute we gave to our class and then 4/5 people would speak about what they think you offer and you give. it was really really nice. I cried after hearing what people said to me -becase im not usedto hearing overwheling nice comments. Thursday we spent the day in downtown Tel Aviv and walking the Yafo flea market. I was expectinga lt more from yafo but none the less it was definitly a true israeli experience. Tel Aviv was nice we went to Rubin Rubin's house, who was a famous artist, that has since his death been turned into a art museum for all of his work. It was really interesting to see the difference in colors and shapes from his different waves of art. We let there and went to Rabin square. We were told we had to interview 5-6 random israelis, ask them what they thought a jew was, if they consider themselves more jewish or israeli, what customs they uphold, what they tink the biggest problem facin the jewish people is, what the biggest problem facng israel is, and what they consider an ideal jew. It was very interesting to see many of thier reactions and responses to our questions. I really enjoyed it. Friday we went to Jerusalem for services at the Kotel (old temple/ western wall) but my friend Avi and i found the girls yashiva service at the wall was slightly too boring so we walked around the area of the old temple and found a service that one of the guys' yashivas was conducting and we joined right in. We had a good time. We had great Onegs (night activities)at night. We conducted our own version of singled out which was extremely amusing - we had 4 couples win dates. We did a bean circle after the game of singled out which brought our group down to a more mellow and unifying tone. We all were given one bead and as the circle went on someone stood up and gave you thier bead, then you had to stand up and give it to smome one else - it just showed how we are all connected. Now we all have blue strings on our wrists and everytime i look at it i think of sitting on the roof in the center of jerusalem on shabbat with 50 other amazing people. In the morning we went to services at a "progressive orthodox" temple... sooo different. Half of thier customs were that which seems conservative or reform and the other half were noticably orthodox. The women read from the torah and assisterd in leading services but at the same time, we were diveded by a long curtain in the middle ofthe room so we couldnt see the men's section. There are only 3 temples in the world that are considered progressive like this. We hung out the rest of the day in jersalem, took a llong walk around the city, just expolring and finall had havdalah (my favorite service)... boarded the bus and haeded back to school. Saturday night was the start of Purim (which is so huge here - its the jewish halloween) and i ws a belly dancer :) it was fun. We had a disco(dance) and costume contests and the whole nine yards. It was alot of fun all night long. It was us and the JDS kids so there were just over 100 of us. Sunday morning were purm activites in the lawn... lieke various competitive games and tug-a-war and al that kind of stuff. It was lots of fun. In the after noon we went to a local hospial about 25 minutes away had had fun with the kids in the childrens surgury ward. We just spent the afternoon trying to cheer them up and make them smile. They have to spend the happiest jewish holdiday in a hospital bed - so we did our bets to make it a good day for them. We had girls night out later that night.. all 32 of the girls went and had a belly dancing lesson (it was so much fun) .. i loved it! And then we got on a bus and headed to Max Brenner's Chocolate bar. Can we say amazing!!??!?!! OMG! it was absolutley incredible. we are missng out inthe states. I think ill open one up myself.... This week was emphasis on holocaust studies so monday was normal class and tuesday was class from 8am - more or less straight through to 9 pm. We had actual class to get the facts behnind the rise of the nazi's and the holocause for 2 hours in themorning, then we listened to a holocaust survivor who was absolutley mindblowing. Seh showed us her number which was the most realistic thing i have every physically seen. She was at Aushwitz and was a patient that Dr. mengilae performed an experiment on. we then had an afternoon class for 2 hours again and a evening descussion/ debate for 2 hours. t was along intense day. Wednesday we went on a hike where the jews formed a place they could resist and fight had the Nazi's decided to invade Israel. It was a really nice hike but an overall a pretty slow day. The lessons were still string but the activites jsut wernt as exciting as i had hoped for. At night we had a mandatory movie to go to "Escape from Sobibor" s was so difficult to wtach. My friend Marlene and i cut up bananas and strawberries and melted dark/milk choc...mixed them together and created our own fondue. It was awesome. Great movie snack!!!! Thursday we went to Yad Vashem. It is the holocaust memorial and museum. The actual muesum isn't as good as the one n DC but the idea of intesivly studying the holocaust and being at the places the jews were fighting and hearing in person a real story, made the impact of the museum here so much stronger. I took a long time to think about issues that frstrat me when hearing aboutthe holocaust and just some of the horrific events that occured. It was really amazing to hear and learn so much and then see it all wrapped up in one historical museum. At the ednof the musem there was a pillar for each country an dhow many people it lost to the terrors of the holocaust... irealized tat numbers individually are just simple single digits but wenn you put the numbers together, thats wehn they makethe impact and have the stregth. That was about all we did this past two weeks. I cant believe we only have another 2.5 weeks here, We have free weekend in and hour and i am going with my friend Marlene and Rachel to Rachel's best friend's dad's house. He is a high position of authority in the IDF (israeli defesnse forces), so it will be really interesting. We are going to a very popular soccer game that has the biggest tems playing and has been sold ou t with sbsolutley no tickets left, and then we are going to go on a jeep tour through the gailalee.... :) it will be lots of fun - good last free weekend... 1 CMNT.

[28 Feb 2004|05:10pm] This week has been more of a physically relaxing week, compared to the last few weeks with a lot of rigorous hiking and strenuous outdoors activites. Monday we had class all day from 8-1 in Core and sequentials in the afternoon. A few of the kids on the program have up to 4 sequentials meaning they have back to back tutors for home classes from 1:30-6 (after or 5 hour morning core class). Tuesday we went to an Old crussador fortress that was unsed when during the crussadors around 1096 CE/AD.. very interesting how they built their system of defense around the fort - you would think they woud never have fallen.... but they did :) After having our core class on the ground of the fortress for about 3 hours we left and went to a natural hot springs which was so much fun! It was naturally like a spa that had to be around 90*F or so.... with the bottom of the springs like stones and pebbles... SOO nice! Loved it! We left the hot springs and went to Tzfat.. very interesting town. It felt quaint and filled with hostiory as we walked around the cobble stone narrow corridors. At one point, there were musicans sitting on a rooftop playing volins and whatnot.... so great. There is an "air" about Tzfat - supposedly anything can happen there - similar to magic. We learned about the city and hitorical people and how it wa sthe first city to be developed when the Jews were allowed back into Israel and then we had a long lesson about Kabbalah (lesson takes place in a cemetary)... awesome but long day. Wednesday we went to Jerusalem, first visiting Life Line for the Elderly which is a workshop place that older people and people who are disabled and can't get a job anywhere else but are still usefull come and work and make things. There are 10 workshops ranging from ceramics, crafts, tapestrys, material, to glass and box making. Their products are sold in a gift shop to raise the money to support the facilit. AMAZING place. We left Lifeline and wentot the Hadassa Hospital in Jerusalem. The childrens ward of this hospital can be turned into a second emergency room in less than 20 minutes via raising cleilings and clearingthe areas....rolling in beds and medication. Hadassa is known for having the best Trauma unit in al of Israel, if not in the world. We spoke to A police Officer who had been involved in a Terror incident exactly 2 years ago, and we talked with a father of a 16year old boy who was involved in the bus bombing last sunday. Both stories were incredible to hear. We concluded with a tour of the hspital and facilities.... and went to the top of a mountain and sang songs of hope and songs of love (hebrew) to end our day. That night we got back and went PAINTBALLING! best time ever! we had so much fun. We did East Coast Vs. West Coast and East won! oh yeah! they gave us camaflouge (sp?) outfits and the whole nine yards. It scared me shitless walking around in a "army like base" at night with people wanting to shoot me- i could never be in the armed forces! we took pictures of the two teams and our whole group and because of the outfits and teh guns, they look like actual military platoons or groups. Thursday we were back to just class. Friday we had a midterm! I stayed up intil 1:30 (they wouldnt let me stay up any later and i was crying frmom frustration) and woke up at 6:20 <--- all to study! soo much stuff, more theni would go through in over a semester in school. I left to go with Jeremy Kazzaz (friend in the program) after the midterm to be with his family in Tel Aviv this weekend. We've had a good time so far. We went to a market in the heart of Tel Aviv yesterday and bought a wallet - streets were packed with stuff. Very cool, i would love to go bac k and expolre more. We went back to his family's house that night and had a afternoon snack which i had assumed was dinner seeing as it was 5pm, then real idnner around 8:30 and relaxed until about 10. His cousin is our age and took us ot with his friedn to a club last night, we had a great time. Broke a few of the schools' rules - but hey, you only live once!came home around 4:40 and crashed. This morning i woek up around noon and we had a family luch at 1. Jeremy's aunt, uncle, jeremy, andrea and myself left the lunch and went to the Jerusalem Beach in Tel Aviv.... the sand was like silk. I loved it. I want to spedn all extra free time there! Gotta go get ready to pack to go back to school now before we leave to go see the old city of tel aviv. Class all day tomorrow :( ick! CMNT.

highs and lows..... mountains and caves [23 Feb 2004|01:13pm] Hey all!!!! Things are going great, keeping busy as usual. As for the kids in teh programs, group dynamics are startin to change which is nice - we are all getting a lot closer, or so it feels. It's beginning to feel like im getting to know each and every person. there are many of the school like cliques within our group i'm trying not to get wrapped up in that and aviod the whole situation - keeping myself open. We've been pretty busy since the last time i wrote... i think. I had a free weekend (not yesterday, but the weekend before) with an amazing lady and her family (along with 5 other kids from m program). I had such a great time...she made me feel like i have a mom in Israel now. It's so welcoming. Since then, she has called just to see how i was doing and say hi. It's great. Tueday and Wednesday we had a tiyul to ein boqeq which we were given the choice between a hard difficult hike or easy relaxing walk with a slight uphill slope. I chose the harder of the two headed foward. I've never climbed a mountain before and it isnt soemthing i would jump at the opportunity to do in the states, but i can't even begin to describe how amazing it was. At first i thought i couldnt even do it, tears began to form in my eyes andi became so scred i was stiff. It was a long way down and i was climbing around a part of a rock that gave me barely any room to fit one foot on the cliff....then it was a long way up where i was convinced i didn't have enough endurance....BUT I MADE IT. We all sat on a large rock facing out teachers and had one of teh most spirtual moments i've felt so far. We were all given 10 minutes to sit in silence and just think about what we are doing or what was going through our mind. The sun began to set while we were still ontop if the mountain and it was gorgeous, looking far overth dead sea into the mountains of Jordan. We had the long hike down and boarded our bus to our youth hostile. Wednesday morning we were woken up at 3am....we left before 4 with coffee and cakes in our stomach and set out to climb Massada.... which is wordly known ( and for a piece of history ... it is where the great revolt ended when the jews fled to the top of massada to escape the roman rule taking over Jerusalem, but the Romans attacked Massada and teh Zealots (jews) only to find that the jews, expecting the Romans, had committed mass suicide, instead of being killed or enslved by the romans) as being a historical mountian. We climbed up and reached the top with our bagged breakfasts before sunrise. It was indescribable to see the sun rise over the jordan mountains and the reflection throughout the middle east sky and the reflection over the dead sea gazing on all of us....feeling so close. I was in my own world. I could feel it in my heart - being on top of such a powerful place watching natures most beautiful beginnings. Amazing! We explored the ruins of the zealots and King Herod from around 70 CE/AD. and in the end stod at the very edge of the cliff and shouted Am Yisrael Hai- thepeople of israel live on. We heard our voices echo back to us through the mountian range and it sounded like teh sould of ancient jews, living on. We went to the Dead sea that afternoon after hiking back down Massada. The dead sea was awesome. I felt like i wason the moon just rolling around from my back to my stomach. We covered ourselves in Dead Sea Mineral Mud which looked beautiful - let me tell you! I had so much fun.... and surprisingly enough - the dead sea didn't hurt me very much at all... i was expecting BADD pain! :) So relaxing and fun. I felt like i could have just layed there effortlessly and gotten the best tan of my life (if we had had more time)... :)We saw USY high and Tri (camp Ramah's program) kids at the dead sea... that was fun! Friday i had a huge unit test for my core class and then we left to go to Ein Gedi. We stayed in another youth hostile when we got there and we got out of the bus and over looked to one of the most beautiful views i had seen. It was nice to just lay out on the lawn with my friends here and listen to music or play games or play frisbee or just talk. The air was comfortable and the wind was perfect. We had a beautiful small shabbat service singing together and reflecting on our past week - ecah of us could share a story just saying how we felt. It brought us closer together i think, definitly. We hung out on the lawn between the mountins and the ocean until about midnight when they made us all get up. The next morning we all just hung out and layed around and talked, with frisbee here and there. We left for a small hike in teh Ein Gedi Nature preserves and swam under a water fall along the hike. Due to predicted rain we couldnt go too much further up the mountinan was David's springs were very peaceful. it was like the Niagra Falls of the Judean Desert. Came back to the dorms later that night after yet another, 2. hour bus ride. Ran into NFTY- EIE kids there... talked to one girl for a few minute but their teacher was mean and wouldn't even let them talk to us... i wishi could have talked to them a little bit more. :-\ Sunday we went cave crawlin in caves that were dug for the jews in the Bar Kochba Revolt. Ive nevergone cave crawling! We were slithering around like snakes in some of the corridors between bigger spaces in the caves... wearing head lights with our lothes covered in mudd - you could see how much fun we wre ehaving. We went to some roman amphitheatre that was used for gladiator fighting and has class afterwards... really cool to see the actual ruins. We left there after lunch and headed to our last cave which was a larger cave under the ground but it had more corridors which were much tigtehr to fit trhough and they were ALL over. They brought us in and led unto one of the big rooms within the cave and told us to find our own way out not using the way we got it... out of all the ways you could leave this rooma nd the coices you could make after that inital one...there was only ONE WAY to exit besides the way wecame in ...so liek 45 minutes later we finally got out! One of the coolest thinsg EVER- by far :) I love it here soooo much! The work load is a lot and very difficult though... i think ihave more homewrkin my one core class here then i have ever put in, in all of high school. I would sya on average i have about 2 hours of homework per night for this one class which on class days (non-trip days) we have 5 hours staright of.... if we are on Tiyul (trips) tehn we have classon the trips but its still soo worth it. I love it here. I almost want to say i do't want to come home - but i do! i want to come home, but i want hoem to stay in Israel. I'm starting to feel/ make my connection and relationship with it and it's so powerful. I love it with all my heart...im even picking up some small hebrew!! Anyways, new update in another week!!! :) sorry about all the typos.. the computers here from back when the dinosaurs were still around and barely run so its good enough that i can get to the internet. The keyboards were made a few millenia ago as well... :) I miss everyone. everyone in the states seems to be in uproar over the bombing yesterday... while it's the complete opposite in Israel. well not complete, but pretty close. Its something that has to do with Kiddush Hashem ...dying (just to live for what you believe) without the intent if dying. The people here are living here because it's their land. and just know, that when they get on a bus (for the most part) they arn't scared. sure it goes through their mind but its what they have dealt with growing up in a controversal land. That's sad to say aswell....soemthing we have to deal with as jews, as our homeland being israel, and our history but it is and thats the truth- and it's worth fighting for! We can't be scared, because the second jews as a people and the occupants start to fear... then they are beginning to overcome us. My modreich said to me the other day when we asked if he ever gets scared about the bombings "sure it stirs me up for a few minutes, and its a small jab in the heart, but you cant be scared. The second i start to get scared living in Jerusalem...it is no longer MY city and i have to leave.... that won't happen" Don't be scared fo Israel. We are strong as Am Israel. and as we had to scream off the mountain top last wek... Am Israel Hai (the people of Israel Live on) ... CMNT.

oops i forgot the love.... [14 Feb 2004|05:30pm] PS to all.... Happy Valentines Day! i miss you all! CMNT.

just a little more of an update [14 Feb 2004|05:05pm] hey all again: im on my first free weekend in Israel and im with my friednd Teva and some other girls from the program at Teva's dad's best friends house. Her name is Dina and if any of you knwo my mom - you know how awesome this lady is, her and my mom are very similar. Dina has a doughter Noga who is 18 and super fun, we've all been hangingout here sice yesterday afternoon. Weekends are wierd in israel because they are friday and saturday... it other words- i have class all day tomorrow :( ick! this past week i hiked down a 2 kilometer mountain...yes you heard right. i was dirty and aching but i did it and it felt good. It was mount Gillboa - and for any ofyou who ever studied torah and whatnot, it was the mountain in which King Saul was killed. we went swimming in the hot springs of sachneh and jumped off cliffs. it was great to go from one climate to another because after the hot springs we all bundled up and headed towards Jerusalem. We had an opening ceremony at a place that looks over the city. I cant even describe how beautiful it was at night with all the lights on to be looking over a place with so much history and that represents a center for millions of people (different religions) throughout the world. it was incredible. We slept at a youth hostile that night and woke up early for yet, another hike. whle we were having class on the side of the mountan we experienced the first earthquake Israel has had in 70 years. It got rated like a 5 i believe maybe just a bit higher. A few seconds before the erathquake we were climbing in a cave. It was aweosme. The cave was like a long narrow tunnel and we had to climb up into an outcove area, but i cant imagine ifthe earthquake happened while we were in there- MAJOR CHAOS. we left the mountain and went to lunch at a lookout above jerusalem from the opposite side and learned aboutthe geography of jerusalem compuerd to the developed geography o fit now. Or teacher sang us the "jerusalem rap" which was one of the funniest moments of my life. Afetr lunch we wentto the old city of david, which 3000 years ago, was the original Jerusalem (now it\s boarders have expanded). We sawthe water channel that King David eentered through to conqure the city when he shut off the wtaer supply and the people of jebus had to surrender. We had class in the top of the city of david and got an introduction to the kotel. our next stop was the kotel, which i had always refered to as the western wall, which was not exactly as i had expected. I didnt make a spiritual/emotional connection wth the oktel but it did make me thnk about somehings in general. Im glad ihad the opportunity to see it, many orthodox woment were standing with the torahs praying as we walked up. i didnt write a prayer into the wall because i didnt feel as if i had anything to say. i know you are supposed to write a prayer or a dream or something of that nature but i didnt feel write and i didnt have anything to really say. I took it for what it was and really appreciated being there but i just didnt get to fill a hope that i had had inside for wheni got to go there. We go there 2 more times this trip so who knows :) we havent done much else besides class and a huge unit test of friday. I studied for so lomng , made flashcards for the notes i had and all the review th techer did and even wrote outlines for the essays on the test. There were three essay options if whuch we would have 2 and then one mandatory essay after all that, along with a goo damount of fill in the blank/short answer questions. We were given 4 hours to take the test and it took me about 2 1/2 hours. my hnad hurt so badly aftewards. just relaxing now. i bought a nakila as a nice thng to get from israel...hehe. dont have too much else to say now :( i will update again as soon as possible again, please call me its easy if you get a calling card.... the number is 011*972*64*579*494and if i dont answer, leave a voice mail and try again later :) thanks guys! 3 CMNT.

make my phone ring! [13 Feb 2004|07:14pm] Heyyyyy - i just got a cell phone guys!!! if you get a calling cards for international calling then you ca call me! please do that!!!! calling cards are pretty cheap and for me to call you it costs like 35 cents a minute and that jst sucks :( to get me using a calling card dial my number : 011*972*64*579*494 I miss you all!! call me :-D CMNT.

a week has almost gone by.... [08 Feb 2004|02:29pm] Hey guys! in from Hod Ha' Sharon, Israel! yay! I'm having so much fun. There are 49 kids here from all over the nation, and Canada. We have already had a couple days of core class and today is the first day with tutors. Sundays here are workdays, not weekends....fun, right? yeah...no! My dorm is cozy... i put pictures up allover the walls already and the girls in my room are great. I'm working on learning hebrew....so far i've picked up a good amount for only being here for basically 3.5 days. I can ask how much and name many fruits...also how are you and whats up? along with 'get away from me you horny dude (Lech Mipo Ya Harmon) which our teacher taught u son the first day due to the aggressiveness of Israeli boys. We went to a disco (dance) on the schools campus which was a lot of fun. There are two other schools on this campus besides us... 1 is an Israeli boardng/ day school - kids from the area as well as kids that live on campus. 2. is jewish day schools come with their classes for three months and then there is also us so its a good mix of kids. Yesterday we hungout around town and went to a park to celebrate Tu Bish Va... similar to earth day ( but created long before) and we had a picnic wth fresh and dried fruits that Israel is known for. Today we had our first Tiul (fieldtrip) and we went to Tel Gezer which is the site of ancient civilizations (of the canaanites and where, after the bronze age of the canaanites, Solamon built his civiliztaion. It also correlates itwh the story of the binding of Issac and Abraham from the torach/bible. It was incredible to know we were hiking and exploring where they had been over 3000 years ago. We re-enacted the attack at the bronze age gates in search for El as we preteneded to worship the god of fertitilt, Astarte. We also hiked/ climbed down an ancient water hole that the canaanites (people of Gezer) used to store and get water. It was 100 feet long and 132 feet deep.....i fell a few times while climbing back up and clid off the rocks on my initial way down....very very very muddy, but AMAZING. The last site we explored was the site where the gates to Solamons city of Gezer were and we sawthe earliest example of hebrew writings were... our teacher said, while we were sitting there, " Your teachers may be outstanding and your textbooks may be great back in the states in yoru classrooms, but there is only one place in the world [to study this particular cirriculm] that you can sit and study in a place where 3million years ago they were doing the exact same thing within twenty feet from where you are sitting. Ladies and Gentlemen- welcome to Israel!" It was just overwhemling and incredible, looking over the plains and valleys and straight at the mountains....soooo beautiful. I cant even try to explain it any further than that. The teacher i have is great. We were broken up into three groups of roughly 16 each for our classes and my particular teacher has been teacher here for over 2 decades (originally from Brooklyn NY). We went to an Israeli punk concert at a club last night! it was a benefit concert for a shelter for teenagers in tel-aviv. it was supposedly, the 3 biggest groups in Israel right now....SOO MUCH FUN! Met a bunch of kids who were and were not from Muss and were now doing a year in Israel with Young Judea (sp?) and tenn goingback to the states to do college. We danced like at the club for like an hour and a hlaf andthen the concert started and it was like punk mixed with alternitive...SO AWESOME. I had an amazing tiime. I have danced soo much wtihin the past two days, between the disco and the club/concert, that makes up for me missing pilates.... :) There isn't much more i can say but i miss you all! :) I'll update again soon! **Hey by the way.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY JILL! I couldn't get to a computer on your birthdya and i felt so bad! i hope you had a wonderfultime. i love you!!!! :) *Hope CSFTY dinner went well...... let me know all the details!!! :-D 2 CMNT.

[05 Feb 2004|09:59pm] HEY GUYS!! Our plane ride was long...... very long..... something lieke 10 hours. I am also sick which is not a good combination. this is so wierd. Its 10pm here (like 3 EST) and we are all basically checking emails and talkingon IM... i miss home alot but thats probably only because its likethe second day. Homesickness wwill fade away as time goes on im sure. We got to explore Hod Ha Sharon tonight. Its a small town but its cute. The people are a lot of fun here but i do miss you guys back home. My room is like the size of a miliary bed but i put some pictures up on the walls and tried to make it slightly more cozy. i definitly miss my biggg feather bed nd driving - i suppose ill survive though. My friend Jon calls it a Palm Beach Crack House :) he's from cali so he says its excusable... i dont know. As of like 2 days from now, iw ilkl have a cell phoen with a tollfress number to the US and ill post it on here so that people can call. If i recieve calls its half the price of calling out to the US. I have my Jewish History class- teacher is cool but we are getting a lor of homework so thats eriously sucks. More work than ive ever done in school....ever :) Ill update more often withmore exciting events.... 2 CMNT.

[01 Feb 2004|02:51am] today was good. Just in general, good. got a new bathing suit and went out to breakfast (just a bagel) with my mom... drove to Coral Springs to see Scottie and Jill ( who are both amazing, i love you guys so much!) Watched Scitt and the "coral springs ultimate frisbee league" play in the pouring rain with Jill making up some nicknames for the players and taking pictures. We stayed SOMJEWHAT dry by stealing Scotts umbrella... thank g-d for that! cam e home and went to Meltig Pot with my mom....sooo good although i feel like i gained another 20 pounds, went to jessies guard competition in Parkland. Thay were great! i really enjoyed watching all teh performaces...voisited grandma. PACKED!!!! allllllll niiiiggghht looonnng! all i want to do is go to bed. thats it. I levae for Israel via NYC in 3 hours. Be back in 2 months! (i probably need your email.... so levae it in a comment here) 1 CMNT.

[23 Jan 2004|08:33am] so yes, it's 8:30 and the first bell just rang but where am i? AT HOME.... oh you ask why? BECAUSE I GOT A FLAT TIRE. UGH- i wanted to be at school early for once this morning too! i had photography first hour and i was excited. So much for that. Oh well. I leave NEXT sunday for Israel. I'm very excited. I kin dof don't kno wwhat to expectbut im sure it will stlil be a lot of fun. NYC this weekend was great. I have to live there at some poit in my life. I love the city. I love walking everywhere. I love the cold. It sjust such a great place. Met some awesome new people on the trip and got closer with some old friends. Overall it was a successful trip. I miss Chad a lot. I can't stop thinking about him... i wish he was home. I better see him this sunday or it will have been like 3 months - way too long. School is still pointless, more than ever. i go to school and laugh about what goes on - NOTHING. Sociology at FAU is great! i LOVE it! ENC 1102 ... i lucked out with a funny teacher. Good FAU classes - atleast something will be exciting. I work Tonight 6-1, tomorrow 6-1, and wednesday 6-11..... thats it for the next 2 months .... i was thikning whlie im in israel - im going to miss working a lot. FOR ALL OF THOSE WHO LIVE WITHIN A REASONABLE DISTANCE TO BOCA: FRIDAY NIGHT.... JAN. 30 2004... Hangout before i leave thing at my house. 8ish or so... till whenever... give me a call for directions! 561.542.1075 please come 2 CMNT.

[16 Jan 2004|03:50am] leaving in about 15 minutes for NYC..... oh boy.... here goes this. Hope this trip is fun.... :-\ CMNT.

[10 Jan 2004|01:15pm] last night was fun :) i had a good night.... it was Josh's 18th Birthday so his mother, him, and I went for dinner at Macronni Grill :) Yuuummm... i love it there! sooo delicious! We had a nice meal.. i gave josh balloons and camdy (which i i had tried to get to him 12 hours early but his school is mean... long story), a card, a massage, money to Paulies, and a mystery gift that has an IOU right now because Circuit City sold it when i had it on hold. We hung out at Noah Goldstiens house after that. Noah is great. Just relaxed there for a few hours. Talked to his brothers friends about Israel (they are from there) and it was very interesting. Glad i went. Saw dan :) afterwards. Met up with him at coldstone for a few minutes because then he had to be home. was great to see him as well. Before he got there i ran into Julie, so that was nice as well...... nothing too much else :) getting lunch at the mall today.... getting eyebrows waxed... going to Kinkos... meeting with Lynda....and....going to work... exciting day, eh? :-p CMNT.

first chance to relax [07 Jan 2004|03:44pm] so 2004 has been awesome so far! It all started a couple days before new years. Jen Bragman came to stay with me, and my half was back! We just hung out and talked a lot - nothing too exciting but we had so much fun. From staying in bed till 5pm and going to the wellington mall, driving around. She makes me happy. I went with her to her firend from FSU's party for new years. It was dress up so i wore my homecoming dress from 11th grade. It fit me better now so i was happy! The people were great! i was kind of nervous because i didnt know anyone that was going to be there but i flt like i had known them for a while as the night went on. I do have a new favorite drink..... OJ and Skyy Vodka! Yeah, so i got a little tipsy very drunk. We had a great time though..... one of my favotie new years EVER! Thurs. Jan. 1 - family get together in Palm Beach Gardens and since i was by lisas house i walked in a jumped on her then went to the family thing. It was good to see some of my cousins and aunts and whatnot. I had a lot of the question "so where are you going next year.... what do you want to study" that whole nine yards... it was good though. Left there and met up with Chris. Went to his house and watched him pack for a little bit then went and talked to his mom who I LOVE! I thought she hated me for forever now but we had a long talk and we are going to go on a cruise together.... i really like her - a lot! Fri. Jan. 2 - Lisa and i ran errands, hung out and went to the mall (no new surprises) then, Rented How to Lose a guy in 10 days and watched it twice.... John came over and watched it with me once and then he left befor eit ended and my friend Brian stopped by so he made me start it over from the beginning. Sat. Jan. 3- David Rubin's 19th Birthday - i sang him happy birthday online.... another visit went by where i didnt get to see him. Didn't do anything. Stayed home and relaxed. hung out with mom at night - saw 'calender girls' <--- sooo cute. Sun. Jan. 4 - called Joe Fernandez ... wished him a happy 18th birthday. I think about him a lot because somehwo or another first kiss stories always come up and that was just a scene to remember... haha. SAW CHAD!!!! That made me happy. We went out to luch and exchanged chanukkah presents. I got him a movie we saw together and a foot massuager. He LOVED them! I miss him like crazy, i think about him and katie may everyday. I wish he was home now. Stir Crazy was good :) yummmm... had my car and my moms car washed - look great!worked at night- it was okay :-\ Mon. Jan. 5- Ran some errands... cleaned out my car!!! yay! that is a major accomplishment for me! it looks amazing now! yayyyy! Dan came down from wellington and we hung out/ got jamba juice. I love that kid. so sweet. His mom is amazing as well to have dozens of loud energetic nfty kids all night long - oh boy! now school is back in session and my butt is being kicked HARD with this waking up early thing. Eeeeek. i was soo busy over winter break and i never got home before 2/2:30 at the earliest everynight. Now im making myself go to bed earlier again. I will soon start to get back into my routine with my phone calls and orginization. I leave for Israel in like 26 days!!! I have mixed emotions - i just kind of dont know what to expect at all..... Im excited though! CMNT.

last breath [30 Dec 2003|10:23am] so on the way to wellington mall yesterday with jen, jen, and megan... we were on 95 and we whittnessed one of the scariest accidents i have ever seen. We were litterally 3 cars behind the accident. Some car lost control or his tire blewe out causing his car to spin and went plowing into a rooms to go semi, which then went FLYING down the road, hitting 3 other cars on the way. The guy was soo bloddy in the first car but he seem still conscience while they tried to pull him out. It was the most hoffifying thing ever. We saw smoke and smelt the burnt smell from the tires and saw an air bag go flying within 25 feet of us. And im sure he didnt expect to get in such a deadly accident that afternoon - just kinda shows you that, you really are taking your life in yoru hands while driving and at any moment something could happen. Ahhh. The mental picture of the guy in the car will never leave my mind. on another note- off to work now. working until 6! fun fun... NFTY dinner tonight at melting pot - YAY! 1 CMNT.

half is home [28 Dec 2003|04:36pm] JEN'S HERE!!!!!!!! woooohooo! im soooo happy! working again tonight though.... grrrr CMNT.

[27 Dec 2003|04:55pm] working tonight ...grrrrrrrr :-\ 2 CMNT.

[23 Dec 2003|03:04pm] so what do you say when you know words wont do the feeling justice? i just got home from the best getaway of my life. It was perfect.I didn't have one complaint (like I normally do), and the programs were mind-blowing. My friends were there and i was myself. The prayers were beautiful and filled me with an enorrmous amount of spirituality. It was also the beginning to an ending. It was filled with cherished moments and emotional memories. It happened to be my last winter regionals (as a participant since i plan to go back and be staff).Thats a sad sentence. Honestly, I walked into this convention with pretty low expectations because programs haven't been intriging and seniors haven't done many recognizable things in past years, but this year blew my mind. Initally i wasn't even going to go. WHAT WAS I THINKING??? I just experienced a spiritual awakening as well as a emotional center and balance where i am me, and i feel i fit in, and everything was barely short of perfect. We arrived on Friday and as most conventions when i first get there, i was like, "ugh! im wasting time and should have just driven up for a day to say hi to my friends and not come to this long thing over my wnter break" <---- can we say pestamist?!?! Well friday went slow wtih just mixers and services, and of course, bad food. My roomates were awesome AGAIN! It was the same room as last year exceot Erika instead of Rachel. So much FUN! Saturday was when things started to be amazing! Slept through breakfast. Sleep is so valuble and so rare at winter. "Where do i stand?" debate program. It kept everyone very involved (hard thing to do in NFTY) and we created pretty good both pro and con arguments for some controversial issues. More bad food at lunch time... but that nights program was one that stuck out the most to me. We were divided up by grades to make for a more mature leveled discussion and asked questions...when the question applied to you - you stood up. The results were interesting. All girls stood up when the question "are you comfortable with what you know about sex?" was asekd but none of the guys. The differences in answers between the sexes raised good awareness. We were then divided in half again and brought into smaller discussion and simply dicussed the idea of sex, the act if sex, our opinions and feelings and then judisms perspective. Most interesting and intriging program i have ever participated in at a convention. Sunday was filled with good times as well. We had our senior lunch which was good - chocolate fondue is forever amazing! we all went outside and took our senior picture and just hung out with each other, relaxing before we went inside for song session. The continued with a strong afternoon program and an incredible evening SA program with bad food here and there. The Social Action program that night was to raise AIDS awareness. Mark , a man in his mid 40's, is living with HIV. He was diagnosed about 20 years ago and infected even before that. He told us his story and just hoped to inform us more of this growing epedemic. His touching story brought tears to many, and new information to others.... i am thinking about going backk to continue to peer educate about HIV/AIDS due to the lack of knowledge a good amount of kids had. Monday was elections. and elections, as we all know are VERY BORING. They did a good job formatting elections this year though because they broke it up in to parts with fun energetic activites in between. I wish next years board good luck and hope they continue to do a great job as this years board has done. Monday night was formal and that is always fun. The film was rolling on everyones cameras with all the pictures and flashes going off. Everyone looked great. I actually danced for my first time at a NFTY event - ever! Had a awesome time! and it kept getting better.... that niht we had a hypnotist come in and i volunteered to be hypnotised . Supposedly, my hand was telling myself was telling bad jokes and i just continued to talk withmy hand motioning it. Im not sure butthats what i understand. Also, Jill and I were apparently singing "oh chanukkah bush, oh chanukkah bush" and insisting that we have a Passover hamster name Petey since Christians have the easter bunny... good times. Scotty- when you get the video, i want to watch it! That night was senior circle. Ot started around 1:30 and i didnt get upstiras to my room until about 5:30. It was filled with many brought up memories and smiles. It wasn't until the moment within our senior circle where we were all swaying singing in hebew did i feel ultimately connected spiritually. The world was lifted from my shoulders and all i cared about was those people in that circle with me, and that moment in time. It was so incredible - i can'y even begin to explain becuase words arn't doing it justice. Tuesday mornings wake up was at 6:30, yes that is ONE HOUR of sleep. We packed our bags and got checked out of our rooms. Downstairs was breakfast and goodbye friendship circle. Everyperson at the entire convention packed in to the ball room in a shape resembling a large outline of a circle and sang songs. At the end of lean on me all seniors threw one shoe in the center... symbollizing leaving a foot in NFTY forever. At the conclusion of the next song, we all got up and formed our own circle inside of the large one. Leaned on each other with our arms wrapped around one another and sang more memorable songs like leaving on a jet plane and a few others. Unfortunetly , i cried. I PROMISED myself i wouldnt cry - i told myself that it was stupid to cry at winter regionals because we still have spring to look foward to but the thought of leaving NFTY was something i didnt want to face. We loaded busses and got on our way. It is sad to think that my last winter regionals is over. I had a great time and love the people i am surrounded with while im there. I genuinely hope we, as a class, can do a good job of staying in touch throughout college and future years because everyone holds a cherished memorie in my heart, especially the imprinted picture of us sitting there with arms linked, singing. I love you guys - i really do. I owe a huge thank you to anyone who has played a keyrole in my NFTY experience. Without a doubt NFTY (spiritually and emotionally) and the people in NFTY have shaped who i am today... THANK YOU. it flew.its sad. its over. 1 CMNT.

Bake Sale 2003! [07 Dec 2003|01:55am] BUZZ BAKE SALE = AWESOME!!!! i just got home from a fun but freezinG day! We had a great time... hung out with AJ, Lisa, and Gina the whole time practically and saw sooooo many people from school or that i just knew from around. I hadthe chance to see Swtichfoot, Something Corp. , Yellowcard, Les Than Jake, The Ataris, Fuel ... not bad not bad.... but i did miss Jet (?), Hoobastank, Seven Dust, One, Alien Ant Farm, and Smile empty soul (or something) ...i think there were a few others , i may have just forgotten.... ANYWAYS - SOOOOO MUCH FUN! I had a blast overall. Apart from being COLDER then EVER! it was great! So after being there fore just about 9 hours (i missed the first 3) im gone and i reak/ reek (spelling???) of pot and beer and other gross dirty smells....im going to bed! goodnight! math study group and final tomorrow! wish me luck! 2 CMNT.

[20 Nov 2003|07:16pm] i'm really hurt right now. I just got pushed aside BY CHAD... we had plans and i don't think he really cared and i don't think he listens to me when i talk to him - or atleast not recently. I don't know, but it hurt that just would do that. It was unexpected. CMNT.

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